When The Good Lord Passed Out Sense . . .

Yao Ming's off-the-thumbs reaction to the Rockets acquisition of Ron Artest.

Ron Artest's off-the-rails reaction to Yao.

I knew it.

Okay, I think Artest in his own inimitable fashion has demonstrated that he lives with his foot in his mouth. I cannot imagine how draining it's going to be for the Rockets to have to deal with this guy on a daily basis. Is he productive enough to justify the stress? Not to mention the chance he might crack and wind up weaving baskets instead of shooting at them?

I'm going to speculate for a second here; if a deal including Artest was seriously discussed by the Organization, I'm guessing there was a veto in the form of a you-gotta-be-fuckin-kidding from Coach Carlisle. The idea of bringing Ron Artest on your team probably feels a little bit like planting a fertilizer-wrapped land mine under your rosebushes. They might grow bigger, but just wait until your dog goes to bury the remote . . . again.

Put another way, bringing Ron-Ron on board would feel like a trip from a nice little garden in Basketball Land to its septic tank.
-BJ

Because Press Get In Free, Dumbasses

Applying for press credentials as a blogger.

I'm thinking about it. See above. And okay, the thought of seeing shower-fresh Mavs is not altogether unappealing.

Here's some thoughts on the subject for later review.
-BJ

Class In Session

Thanks to the good folks at Basketbawful (and okay, the Dance of Dumb was silly enough to entitle Dirk and Dampier to a few cheap shots), we now have our hands on the text for Applied Sports Psychology 101.

It's a first-person column Bill Russell wrote for Sports Illustrated back in '65 and it describes small ways and means to fuck with the opposition. The whole idea behind the piece can be summed up in Russell's First Law, "You must make the other player do what you want him to do."

Must spend some time in the Periodicals section of the library and look up some more of this stuff.
-BJ

Push The Button, Frank

Ron Artest to the Rockets.

Deeeeeeep huuuuurting.

Ron-Ron, provided he doesn't implode and wind up in legirons or a straitjacket, is an asset the Mavs could very much use. Was.

Now I am not going to panic. As of yet, we do not have permission to panic. But anxiety's ranked up another notch. I've thought for a while now that the Organization was serious about taking the Mavs to the new seasons as is. Upside -- with the major difference of Jason Kidd at the point, that would be essentially the same team as the '06 Miracle-Crash-And-Burn. Downside -- the rest of the world's caught up and passing.

And then there's the downsides the Rockets are dealing with. Yao sat out half of last season because of injury (there was even talk of him missing the Olympics, although I get the idea that he'd play standing up dead if that were required). Ron-Ron is, to put it mildly, a toxic presence on any happy team (the league suspended him for 73 games as a result of the riot at the Palace a few years ago).

And . . . okay, my optimism died. With a healthy Yao and a good Artest-tamer, the Rockets can kick our asses. And they got him for the NBA equivalent of loose change.

I think I'm going to go into the corner and suck my thumb for a while. Or the grown-up equivalent -- line my mouth end-to-end with lit Djarum Blacks and breathe deep.
-BJ

Smack

It's a phenomenon one runs into in any form of fandom; the Wall. It's the intangible barricade, made up of outdated news bits and endlessly rehashed (and insoluable) arguements, that prevents a fan's imagination from spending more time in a particular universe.

For instance, rewind to 2005. You're a respectably unbalanced Star Wars fanatic, and the past six years have been great. Fandom is active and growing. There's discussion and interaction everywhere you look. You're glued to the computer. If you didn't have to eat-sleep-work-and-wash, you'd never leave.

But as days and weeks pass after the last movie's released, information dries up. One terrible day you click between starwars.com, theforce.net, and your fandom-run site of choice (score extra points if it's the Master/Apprentice archive) and . . . nothing. No news, no rumors, no pictures, no fic, niente. You have hit the Wall.

Your heart sinks. You have, after all, been through this rodeo before. Membership at your discussion groups and fanfic lists will start to decline. The hardcore fanatics, group hosts, and listparents will find new fandoms and take great chunks of your fellow nerds with them. Eventually it'll boil down to one or two of the old salts, some truly insane people (I'm looking at you, Spuffy shippers), and a bunch of folks too lazy or too disinterested to formally exclude themselves (unsubscribing, unFriending the group, etc).

I knew it was coming. This is the offseason. I just didn't expect it to happen so fast. It does stands to reason though. Star Wars as a fandom is still vibrant, because there's new source material avaiable via the Extended Universe (the Lucasfilm sactioned novels and games). Buffy, which has been off the air . . . God, five years now, is still chugging along via fanfiction. Even Firefly is alive and well. Sports on the other hand . . . there isn't much material other than direct from the source available. Fans don't get to put their own spin upon the fandom. Makes keeping up enthusiasm hard.

So it's been two months since the Finals, and I'm clicking with increasing desperation through my list of websites, looking for some news. (Almost) Any news. Team USA? Landed in China yesterday. Summer League? Wrapped up, with our boys comporting themselves honorably. Not confirmed yet who's staying and who's going. Trades for Josh Smith or (gulp) Ron Artest? Just talk, not serious, possibly the vulgar fictions of demented general managers.

Nothing new.

I have hit the Wall.

. . .

(whimper)

Addendum: Thank God. Mr. Fisher knows the Wall. He spends a great deal of time trembling on the ground, bits of his scalp smeared all over the Wall. Thanks, Fish.

Addendum the Second: Pardon me, but who in Chi would think that Mr. Cuban's acquistion of the Cubs would be a bad thing? I guess it depends how heavily the Chicago fanbase -- and Major League Baseball -- is invested in the ideal of their Cubs as loveable losers. (And that Lansing Lugnuts crack was low. Whitecaps all the way!)
-BJ

God, Please Don't Let This Kill The WNBA

Malice at the Palace, part II.

Holy shit, what happened?!? WNBA.com's not giving me anything but the boxscore. I had to get the scoop from Yahoo!Sports.

Somewhere David Stern is locking the door, getting into his jammies, and hiding under the covers sobbing into a Nerf ball.

I don't see anything positive coming from this. Women's basketball isn't going to get any more respect from the blowhards for this -- quite the opposite (a quick glance at the DB Boards bears this out). The league is still trying to live down the Pistons-Pacers brawl. And like Detroit needs another black eye!

The Palace at Auburn Hills; where respectable basketball goes to die.
-BJ

Must . . . Get Through . . . Offseason . . .

News Bits:

- The Rocky Mountain Review -- the second half of the Summer League, it isn't being televised locally -- is in gear. Last night our Mavs beat down the San Antonio Spurs 84-77, and from what I'm hearing it was anchored by a Mighty Man effort from Gerald Green. Are the Basketball Gods possibly cutting us a break here? Is the young Gerald getting a game together? We'll see.

- He made it! He made it! Sunday night Germany beat out Puerto Rico for the last slot in the Olympic Men's Basketball Tournament. Germany's going to the Olympics, first time since '72. That's one more big goal checked off Dirk's career To Do list. All that's left is the NBA Championship. Most of us MFsFL are geeked for the guy . . . just please to be minding those leg joints, okay dude?

- Team USA is getting together for their training camp. Our Mr. Kidd is one of the starters -- he was on the last Olympic team to win it all (2000 Sydney games). Give you an indication of how fast the rest of the world catches up and passes; Team USA slunk out of Athens with a bronze. FAIL.

- The Olympic Tournament has twelve teams playing, divided into two groups of six. In the preliminary round everyone gets a game with each other team in that group. The four best records advance to the quarterfinals. After that, it looks like straight single elimination, with the medals going to the three teams left standing. Group A consists of teams Argentina, Australia, Croatia, Iran, Lituhania, and Russia; Group B of teams Angola, China, Germany, Greece, Spain, and United States.

- Team USA's Preliminary Round schedule looks like this:
8-9, 9:15 AM CST, versus China
8-11, 7:00 AM CST, versus Angola
8-13, 7:00 AM CST, versus Greece
8-15, 9:15 AM CST, versus Spain
8-17, 7:15 AM CST, versus Germany

- Experience is something you underestimate, especially if you don't have it. A lovely and thought-provoking article on Basketbawful (of all places).

Happy Tuesday, yo. Is the offseason over yet?
-BJ

Pry My Remote From My Cold Dead Hand

Ashamed to say I missed last night's summer league action against the Pistons. We won, but the score's close enough that I wish I would've caught it. What can I say, life intervened.

Here's one of the small upsides to being a girl when it comes to sports fandom; assuming that you like guys, the odds of finding a partner who'll tolerate your insane behavior are better. "Baby I love you so please don't take it personally when I scream I want Dirk to have my babies." (In all seriousness, if he approaches starting a family with the same dedication and constant-upgrades attitude he brings to basketball, his future bride is a very lucky lady.)

But the Almighty, in His wisdom, made humanity so diverse that finding someone who'll share every single one of your obsessions isn't gonna happen. Grownups who prefer being together to being apart compromise. And it's always good to have the ground rules spelled out.

Course that's for football. For us basketball crazies, the logistics are trickier. Sixteen games plus single-game elimination . . . versus eighty-two games plus best-of-seven (and if you're really hardcore, there's FIBA).

It's not fun being single . . . then again, absolute posession of the remote control is a definite upside.
-BJ

We're Having Fun Now

Ahhh . . . that's better.

It's interesting -- one could take the Mavs' Summer League so far as an example of team cohesion. In the course of three games we go from an almighty ass-whuppin to a game worthy of some chest-beating. Shan (you pronounce that Shane, Misters Maggot-Brained Announcers) Foster and Reyshawn Terry both looked salty. The team spent a lot less time in Offensive Half Court Hell; defensively they were a wall.

I don't think it was an even matchup, to be completely fair. This was the Timberwolves' first Summer League game, and they had a lot of the same problems as the Mavs did at their inauspicious debut.

I hadn't taken that into consideration. A lot of these guys are first-year players, or they've been overseas (I can't even imagine playing a sport at any pro level while living in another country). And they're trying to gell as a team given about a week's worth of practise, when they know full damn well they're probably going nowhere -- back to the D-League, back to Europe, back to where-ever. And considering that turning pro voids your college eligibility . . .

I'm not hunting up excuses. I'm trying to understand how this all works.

Anywho, the rest of Summer League should be interesting. I think I understand what Coach was saying when he said he was looking for shooters -- in major game situations the opposing defensive strategy seems to be Pile People On Dirk with double- and triple-teams. Why? Because it works. I'm going to need to research this a bit more, but it squares with what I've been reading; Dirk's a perimiter player, and his instinct when double-teamed is to fall back with a jump shot. When he's well defended, those shots don't sink.

The downside to multiple defenders on one guy, of course, is it leaves the rest of the offensive team underdefended. What I think the Org is aiming for is a scenario where the Bad Guys double up on Dirk, Dirk passes out to Jason Kidd, Kidd finds the underdefended player and passes to them for a jump shot or a layup. This Plan B depends on two things; Jason Kidd's offensive playmaking abilities and a reliable scorer on the floor.

As usual, if I'm full of shit, tell me so I can find out you're right and learn something. (Please don't take any name-calling personally. I hate being wrong.)

One more thing about Summer League; at about the nine minute mark in the second quarter there was an offensive rebound I wish the announcers would've paid attention to. T-wolves sent up a jump shot, it was waaaay short, and one of the Mavs leapt and caught it mid-air.

Here's my problem; since the throw was a shot and not a pass, and since the ball was going down, would that rebound actually be a goaltending violation? Once a shot's on the downward arc, hands off. Or is it since the shot was clearly short it didn't count as a shot? Was that a no-call on the part of the refs? The zebras are in training too, in Summer League.
-BJ

I. Am. Calm. Dammit.

So far in Summer League, our Mavs are 0-2.

Determined not to overreact. Unlike the Clips and the Warriors, who still have vital roster spots available (ones with playing time), the Mavs have all but one slot spoken for -- and the consensus is they're going to leave that slot open a while and see if anything Really Interesting happens later this summer. Most of these guys're going to Europe or the D-League, and they know it.

Not going to panic. This is not worth panicking over.

(whimper) I'm so spoiled. I'm used to three-point shots going into the basket.

In other news, I swung by West End and caught the finals of the NBA Nation's Kia Motors Performance Challenge. Basically a lap around the court -- starting with a layup, then a dribbling weave through some cones (well they were silhouette cutouts but in a gym class they would've been cones), then a bounce-pass through a target hoop, then a free throw, then a chest pass through another target hoop, then another dribbling weave, then finish with another layup. Add brillant sunshine, blazing heat, and an erratic breeze; this wasn't no stroll through the mall.

You wouldn't know it by watching the eventual winner though, a family guy named Tony wearing a Jason Kidd uniform. His final score was 19.3 seconds, about four seconds better than the next best time. Cooler than an Eskimo's fridge, guys. His prize? A brand new car. Man was in tears when the Kia guy handed him the keys. NBA Nation hasn't updated their website yet, but they should sometime in the next few days. Check it out.
-BJ

PS: I'm with Fish. Send the TXA guys to work the games. The national-level announcers drive me nuts.

Only Seven More Hours Until Tipoff . . .

Whelt, it's official, sports fans, Diop's back in Dallas (at a substantial pay raise, the lucky bastard and I say that with love). JJ Barea's also on the roster, having signed a deal for $1.5 million.

If there're any more moves in the offing, the Organization's being very quiet about them. Nothing on the Morning News, the Star-Telegram, or DB-dot-com. Seems the Org was serious about just a couple of tweaks to the roster and then going onwards. Makes me nervous, but I'd feel that way no matter what they did.

Gonna be a loooooong few months.

Mavs first summer league game's tonight on Channel 21 (or NBA TV, for those fortunate souls who have SuperTV). I'm there. Hoops withdrawl ain't pretty.

Got an ad in my Yahoo mail yesterday saying that Platinum level tickets are going on sale. At around ninety bucks a game. Yowzers! Ponying up for the good rafter seats damn near bankrupted me this last season. Besides, the fans in the Platinum section tend towards the "cocaine-and-boob-job" crowd. Blarch.
-BJ

Lovin' Us Some Mavs

Another thing that's on-trial this season, I think, is the Mavs' culture as an organization. The constant cry from management is, "We love our players." That's been taken to mean by some of the pessimists among MFsFL that the team will not slight the players even when the situation calls for it -- like not trading Jet Terry or Stackhouse even though it'd probably be a smart move financially.

One of our most intriguing acquisitions so far this off-season has been Gerald Green, a rising star that stuck on his way up. He's got a devestating slam, but almost no game. Blame bad coaching in high school that exploited his talents without developing them. Instead of going to college he went straight to the draft, he was a first-round pick, and he's been a tumbleweed through the NBA ever since. He played for Boston, got packed off to Minnesota as part of their deal to get Kevin Garnett, was traded to Houston, and cut after just one game.

Green admits he's had problems with discipline. The Word is his game suffers fundamental flaws. But a four-foot leap is not something to dismiss, if the man above the legs is willing to shut up and learn a few things.

Here's the culture part. Green had offers from other teams, for more money. He turned them down because he wanted the opportunity Dallas provided -- a chance to work with an organization that's willing to work with him. I've read it several times as I browse through the backlogs on dallasbasketball-dot-com; the Organization dedicates a lot of time and attention making sure the team has what it needs, and will stand by their men as best they can. Gerald Green's an asset we could use, and he's not going to get used unless and until he sharpens up. He needs help doing that. Mavs provide help. Asset gets used. Everybody leaves happy.

On the strictly business end of things, with not a hell of a lot of alternatives, loving your players and investing in them is the sensible move. The only other one is to admit the Kidd trade was a mistake, trade Dirk to a team that can use him properly, and resign ourselves to lottery-dom until the basketball gods send another superhero down our way. (Just for the record, no. You may not trade Dirk. Ever. Under any circumstances. Pry his leash from my clenched fist. I dare you.)

Caring about your players and wanting them to develop as men is not a bad thing. I think "we love our players" is being taken the wrong way by a fanbase that's probably in worse shape than the team after three years of playoff fuckups and bad luck.
-BJ

Basketball Junkies, Rejoice!

Oh thank God! TXA-21's televising the summer league games. First one's this Friday. We don't have to go cold-turkey until the season officially starts. Besides, I need my Followhill fix. Mark rules. :-)

There's been a lot of positive feedback about Coach Carlisle in the past couple of months, as he, Misters Cuban and Nellie, and the Organization's spin-meisters ladle out the sunshine. Whether that's a reflection of the man himself or the Mavs and fanbase working through post-AJ-hangover is a matter of interpretation.

The summer leaguers are playing for permanent roster spots; the team still needs some serious patching on interior defense. According to the Morning News Coach plans to run them into the ground over the next three weeks. "[W]e shouldn't lose a game," Carlisle said at practise yesterday. Anybody taking bets on that? I'll put ten on the Mavs.

We've also got the Olympics this year. Let not the USA be pwned again, please God?
-BJ

Step Away From The Edge

I'm clinging, suction-cup-Garfield-like, to the idea that the Mavs didn't improve after the Kidd trade was due to mismanagement of the team's skills. Because the alternatives are terrifying -- the Mavs haven't retained and developed the talent necessary to remain in the elite picture, Kidd really is old and past it, Dirk's just not that good. Those thoughts make me want to get into PJs and crawl under the covers with my Cabbage Patch doll. I can handle disappointment, a season full of complete futility is another story -- I had to root for Detroit when the Tigers were seriously flirting with Worst Baseball Team Ever and let's not discuss the Lions for that way lies madness.

Watched one of the Sports Extras the other night. The interviewee was a lady name of Nancy Lieberman, the First Lady of Basketball. I was prepared to not take her seriously, but oh well I couldn't sleep.

Thank God I did. I didn't realize it, but I'd replaced Mr. Galloway on that NBA Ledge, ready to shitcan hope and faith, ready to believe my beloved Mavs were doomed to another (for them) pisspoor year. Ms. Lieberman pointed out that Avery Johnson's overmanagement of the team had neutralized whatever advantage we got in the Kidd trade and with a new coach that will change, repeated that Josh Howard is showing positive signs of getting his shit together, and basically reminded everyone that we are an elite level team and MFsFL have a right to expect and hope for great things next season. Granted, she did lose brownie points by getting Master Geschwinder's name wrong.

I'm aware that all the sound bites did was reinforce my own prejudices . . . so sue me, I don't want to believe my team is crap. Why so many basketball guys in Dallas do want to believe that is a discussion for another day.
-BJ

Job Hunting In The Show

Yesterday kicked off free agency, when franchise and player representatives can come to the table and talk business. How much does your guy want, how much ya got, how much is he worth, et cetera et cetera et cetera.

According to the rules of the draft (see June 25th entry), a first-round draftee gets a minimum two year contract with the franchise that selected him, with a team option for two more years. Second rounders aren't guaranteed contracts, but the drafting franchise still own the rights to that player for three years.

But not to put too fine a point on it, the NBA only drafts sixty players a year. I'd have to work it out by hand, but just going by the NBAs list the odds on getting drafted this year were about . . . one in three, one in four. What do you do if you're #61 in terms of potential awesomeness? Or if the scouts caught you in a slumpy phase or while you were sick or hurt? Or your game's still maturing? Or the NBA just doesn't like you?

A lot of the leftover players let it drop right there and pursue other ambitions. The ones who feel they've got a shot become free agents.

Free Agency, or Taking The Scenic Route to the NBA:
According to the Great Yet Flawed God Wikipedia (so if on any point I'm factually incorrect, say so), a "free agent" is a ballplayer with the right to seek their own employment. Once a player signs a contract, they're no longer in control of their employment and may be traded to another team at the franchise's discretion so long as the other team matches the terms of that contract.

Free agents come in two breeds; unrestricted and restricted. Unrestricted free agents are players without a team -- those whose contracts have expired without re-upping, those who've been released from their contracts, and those who were not drafted by the league. They are free to offer their services to any franchise, and to accept any offers made. Restricted free agents are players still signed with a team but are free to solicit and accept offers from other teams. However, if the player's currently signed team matches the prospective team's offer the player remains with their current team.

What this means to the Mavs is we've got several blank roster slots, some critical vacancies in terms of gameplay (David Lord did a magnificent analysis of those needs over at Dallas Basketball dot com), and not a lot of spending cash to work with. However, the field of free agents is good. Of the list of free agents currently on the roster, I haven't heard anything yet about the Mavs making offers.

The word just came down via the Morning News that a deal's been worked out for center DeSagana Diop (please not for the whole mid-level exception). There's also a new guy by the name of Gerald Green -- they're talking a one-year deal. Right now, the Mavs have eight contracted players -- Eddie Jones (exercised his player option), Kidd, Dirk, J-Ho, Jet Terry, Dampier, Jerry Stackhouse, and Brandon Bass. Just-waiting-for-a-starting-time deals in place for Diop and Green . . . five more guys and we have ourselves a team.

An editorial note; Brandon Bass will at times be referred to as the Four-String Motherfucker. It's a nod to my favorite metal band's nickname for their bass guitar. My kingdom for the AAC to quit playing Enter Sandman and start playing For Whom The Bell Tolls.
-BJ