Fresh Meat!

First of the new blood, the future swinging big dicks of the NBA, cannonballed into the talent pool last night. Check out the live blog at Dallas Basketball dot com, or the video clip at the Morning News.

Speculation that the Mavs were planning on buying a first round pick came to zip as the Organization stuck with #51. I hope Mr. Nelson and the rest of the suits know what they're doing. The next few seasons is when the Mavs have to start developing talent ready to take over the team when Dirk retires. I'm all for finding a vampire and making Dirk immortal, but the NBA probably has rules against undead players. They're shortsighted that way.

But, nobody was willing to bite with what the Mavs were offering ($3 million) . . . at least not publicly. As Mr. Fisher points out, the back-door deals are also beginning, teams trading picks for established players, cash, and so on.

For now, our FNG is a young man by the name of Shan Foster. He's a graduate of Vaderbuilt University and that school's all-time leading scorer. He's being considered (how seriously is a matter of speculation) as a backup shooting guard or small forward.

With the draft done, free agency begins to warm up. Negotiations between franchise reps and players' agents begins July 1, players can sign on July 9. I'll look up those particulars later.
-BJ

Drawing Straws and Here Come The Rookies

Tomorrow is Draft Day, so in the spirit of Higher Learning, we're going to have a brief lesson on how the NBA circulates the talent pool:

The Draft, or Oh Shit Here Come The FNGs:
The deadline for declaring eligibility is 60 days prior to Draft Day, with potential draftees given until 10 days before the draft to back out if they change their minds. They must be at least nineteen years old and/or one year out of high school, and if they are not drafted run the risk of losing their college eligibility. That may change in the next year or so; the league is considering raising the minimum age to 22.

The talent pool is evaluated, the NBA processes the data gathered, and the Draft is announced listing players in order of their potential awesomeness. Quick hits; Jason Kidd was a #2 pick in 1994, Stackhouse was #3 in 1995, Dirk was #9 in 1998, Jet Terry was #10 in 1999, Dampier was #10 in 1996, J-Ho was #29 in 2003, and Brandon Bass was #33 in 2005. Teams then get to select from that list, with a lottery system determining who gets first dibs -- see below. The draft is conducted in two rounds of thirty (one pick per team per round), for a total of sixty brand-spandy-new NBA rookies.

List of prospective draftees here.

The Lottery, or Fate as a Bingo Tank:
How it works is the 14 teams who didn't make the NBA playoffs are each given a list of four number codes. The team with the worst record gets the most codes (250), therefore has the best chance of scoring a number one pick (odds are about one in four).

On Lotto Day, a group of NBA officials, team representatives, and some media guys acting as witnesses (check this out for an eyewitness account) enter a room. Cell phones, laptops, and PDAs are left outside. The door is locked. A set of ping-pong balls numbered 1 to 14 are dropped into a lotto randomizer, left to cook for exactly twenty seconds, and four are drawn. The team holding those four numbers (doesn't matter what order they're drawn in) gets the #1 draft pick. Process repeated for picks 2 and 3. Picks 4 through 30 are handed out in inverse order of win-loss ratio.

This year's lottery was held on May 20. The Chicago Bulls (33-49) came away with the #1 pick, the Miami Heat (15-67) #2, and the Minnesota Timberwolves (22-60) got #3. Click for the full list of picks.

A side-effect of the lottery that wasn't anticipated (correct me if I'm wrong on this) is the incentive for teams that aren't doing well in the regular season to delibrately run their record down in the hopes of scoring one of the first three picks. Hence the pissing and moaning in Dallas about how the team should've quit trying to even make the playoffs this year and just taken our chances with the lottery.

Fuck that shit, says I. If there isn't nobility in trying, why bother competing at all? Boring rant for another day.

A more in-depth look at talent rotation, free agency, what about the undrafted, and so on later. Right now Dallas only has one draft pick, #51. The first round pick (#21) went to the New Jersey Nets as part of the trade for Jason Kidd. Word around the campfire is the Organization is going to try and buy our way back into Round One.
-BJ

Sources:
http://www.nba.com/draft2008/index.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NBA_Draft
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NBA_Draft_Lottery
http://www.nba.com/history/draft_evolution.html

Happy Birthday Dirk!

And the .50 Cal turns 30 today.

(raises glass)

Here's to you, Mr. Nowitzki. May your cup always be full and your heart never empty.

(drink!)
-BJ

2008 NBA Champions, the Boston Celtics

Wow.

Amazing happened.

Both coasts are waking up with headaches this morning, for very different reasons. 131-92. That wasn't a game; it was a gang-rape.

God it was fun!

- Paul Pierce is The Truth, and anyone who denies it should have their head examined.

- Leave Kobe out of it for a minute -- we'll get to him shortly. The Lakers should be absolutely disgusted by their defense last night. I saw at least two clear opportunities for defensive heroics and the Lakers totally whiffed them both. I'll leave it to wiser eyes to determine exactly when in the game the Lakers struck their colors. That last quarter looked like a bad dream.

- If Dirk is soft, what does that make Pau Gasol? Dairy Queen kiddie cone? A doggie bag from El Bulli? Those supercomfy mattresses NASA uses on the space shuttles? I'm going with the El Bulli thing, myself -- Chef Adri's known as the Foam Guy in certain circles.

- Inconsistancy, thy name is Odom.

- Rajon Rondo. A thing of beauty is a joy forever. He nicked better than a midway pickpocket. I'm thinking about buying the game video from NBA.com just to watch those steals.

- Ray Allen's shot wasn't dead, it was just resting.

- Dallas isn't going to live down either the Finals Disaster or the Golden State series until we're hoisting our own banner next year. But as Pride Salve goes, this isn't bad. Western Conference Champions, helmed by the MVP and the best player on the planet -- as the announcers reminded us every ten minutes -- and they got their butts kicked so hard they're going to be walking funny until Christmas 2013.

- Now we get to Kobe. I want you to bear in mind the public flogging Dirk's manfully endured the last couple years. #24's stats for last night's game; 7-22 shooting, 3 rebounds, 1 assist, 4 turnovers. When does the crucifixion commence?

- ESPNs obsession with sound bites is beginning to annoy me. Little reporter trying to get quotes out of Kevin Garnett by asking him cliche questions when he's the most blissed-out basket case in the solar system. The happy tears moment was beautiful on its own. Let the man be.

- The Lakers will be back. And so will the Celtics. And so will the Spurs/Hornets/Pistons/Jazz/Nuggets et al.

And so will the Mavericks.

- MasterCard Moment.
Cooler with Tap: $70
Eight gallons Gatorade: $15
Summerweight Suit: $5000

Winning It All: Motherfucking Priceless



No, funny would be if Coach Rivers sends The Truth his dry-cleaning bill.

Congratulations, Boston Celtics! Somebody FedEx everyone in Boston Irish breakfasts and a shitload of aspirin. Those have got to be the happiest hangovers on earth.
-BJ

My Humble Opinions, June 16

Well it wasn't pretty. I stand by my Cloudy Crystal Ball and say it's the Celtics in six. Tuesday night, and we're in the off-season.

Gonna be a looooong few months.

It isn't really a developing story, because Tim Donaghy's statements are farts in the wind. What he's saying isn't confirmable. Any trial attorney will tell you testimony's crap without a second independent witness or some other form of corraberation. All he's doing is trying to get his sentence reduced, and the world would be well-advised to keep that in mind.

On the other hand, the ref-ing in basketball is . . . confusing to the uninitiated. In researching the whys and wherefores of the sport I'm dreading the part on fouls. Is the officiating 100% fair and impartial? Of course not. The refs are human, they have favorites and hates, double-standards, moments of inattention, judgement lapses. That's human error and an issue in any contest.

The accusation is that the NBA is instructing their officials to favor one team over the other in their calls. Why? Well look at the press the Finals is getting. Historic rematch and all that. They even got Their Holinesses Magic Johnson and Larry Bird to pose for one of those There Can Only Be One spots. Larger audiences, greater glory, more money . . . the motivation is there.

Not trusting the sport itself to produce a riveting spectacle, a governing body directs its officials to create artificial results irregardless of who actually wins.

Sound familiar?

I understand why the blowhards don't consider figure skating a sport. It's not because of the idea that it's not as physically demanding as "real" sports (hey, you try dancing on ice skates while hauling around ninety-five pounds of partner), or because of the artistic elements involved, or even because the athletes wear sequins. It's the corruption in the scoring. Winning in figure skating can and does have almost nothing to do with how well someone skates on that particular night. The best example I have is (of course) the 1994 ice dance competition. Gritchuk and Platov did not earn that gold medal. Their program was inferior to the other medalists', wasn't skated as well, and involved clear and obvious rule violations for which they were not penalized. The ISU didn't want to reward the team that moved ice dance's artistic focus in a more theatrical direction (Torvill and Dean), and didn't want to reward the team who had run in that direction successfully (Usova and Zhulin). They weren't particularly subtle about it, either.

I'm not saying that's what the NBA is doing. But public perception can easily swing that way because the system of fouls and penalties is hard to understand if you don't know what you're looking at. I hope Mr. Stern and the rest of the league's leadership nip this in the bud toot-sweet. A reputation for corruption and unfairness killed figure skating in the US, and don't think for a minute the NBA is too big and powerful to fall down the same cliff.
-BJ

Finals Stuff and Compare/Contrast

The Fifty Million Pound Challenge commercials; thank you Lord, I can now detest Kobe Bryant with a clear conscience.

Everybody's saying it. I'll add my voice to the chorus. That's how you get it done. No panicking, even though they had plenty of reasons. No surrender, no quarter, no fucking around. The Celtics just played like, "This game is ours, and I don't care what shit I have to put up with or how hard I have to work in the meantime." Make the plan, execute the plan, and don't fucking give up.

I'm hoping this series goes the full seven, because the games are pretty damn cool. Consulting the Cloudy Crystal Ball . . . eenie meanie chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak . . .

I think the odds are about fifty-fifty the Lakers'll rally for their last home stand, and the Finals'll finish back in Boston. Celtics in six. They can taste the defeat of the Lakers -- it's delicious!

Not that I ever miss an opportunity to reflect on the needs-a-suntan awesomeness that is Nowitzki, but David Moore at the Morning News brings up an obvious point regarding MVPs '07 and '08. If Dirk had put up the kind of numbers Kobe did in Finals G4, people would be baying for blood. By contrast, Kobe is not the object of passionate disgust in LA right now. Nobody's calling him soft, weak, or (in more correct language) saying he throws like a girl.

Why? Simple. Kobe Bryant has the reputation of a bone-deep badass. Dirk does not. Kobe's playing makes for better video, his on-camera presence is better, his fame off-court is greater (albeit for the wrong reasons), and I'll have to check on this but I don't think Kobe's rookie season was one of epic yuck and Dirk's rookie season was. The Mavericks have never won a championship and the Lakers have.

The short hairs of the situation are Dirk's not going to get the respect he deserves until his team wins it all. Until then, people are not going to believe he's any such of a much. They don't want to. Sports fandom likes bad boys and rewards them. Stupid, but fact of life.
-BJ

Quick Hits, Some Rants, Little Silliness

Believe it or not, this is intended as a scholarly work. So after some quick hits, back to business:

- Yes I'm watching the Finals. Yes it sucks that my guys aren't there. It . . . really sucks, actually. But I'm enjoying the game. It's reassuring to know the game's enjoyable to watch without having someone to root for. Not nearly as much fun though.

- How come I want to hate Kobe Bryant? Is it because of the rape charges from a few years ago? I'm going to have to look into that a little; I don't remember if it ever went to trial. I mean yeah, the family portrait's overposed unless his wife usually wears stage makeup and a little black dress, and his daughters white lace, while Mr. Bryant's working the treadmill. I want to hate this man. I want to loathe him with every cell in my body. But why? Other than being better than Dirk -- big fat hairy fucking deal, Kobe's better than everybody these days.

- Coach Carlisle's on his way to Germany. Is it wrong that I want to be a fly on the wall for this? Or better, a Babel fish in the goldfish bowl. We're all taking it as an encouraging sign that Coach wants to spend extra time with Dirk, but there's a potentially ugly side. I mean, is Coach the kind of control freak that can't let the players out of his sight for more than a week? God I hope not.

- Some encouraging notes concerning new blood. The guys over at the Morning News and D-Basketball-dot-com have said that team recruiting efforts will be focused in Europe this year as the organization works around the salary cap and lack of draft picks. Since the Basketball Gods did not arrange for that bout of ptomine poisoning I asked for, nor the alien abductions, I'm hoping they show us some love there.

- Dallas b-ball fans are spoiled rotten in many ways (most of them wear #41). One of them is the quality of the in-game commentary when it comes to televised games. TXA-21's guys are always informative and interesting. Their talk augments the game without intruding upon it. The same cannot be said for the nationally televised games on ABC. I could give a shit what you pay for a haircut, just please tell me why that wasn't a fucking foul!

- Speaking of fouls, I've said it before and it bears repeating; my yardstick for official sports corruption is a pretty long one. I don't think the International Skating Union even pretends any more. The current brouhaha over ex-referee Tim Donaghy's statements regarding delibrately bad refereeing just makes me tired. Without corraberation, there's no way to verify what he's saying. Corraberation is not something we're likely to get. And nobody's going to propose seriously overhauling a system where everybody pretty much gets screwed over equally in the final wash. So here we are. The gentlemen over at Hardwood Paroxysm say it all better than I can.

- And further on the subject, I find it funny that a few weeks ago there was a bad call on a foul because the fouled party "didn't sell it." At the same time the NBAs taking steps to prevent flopping, it's telling the players to "sell" fouls? Wait . . .

- Halloween costumes, Dirk as Harpo Marx. I'm just sayin'!

-BJ

Mavs Fan For Life

Februrary 29.

Bad night that night, homesick and lonesome. Rather than spend an evening pouting with my cat, I decided to visit with my new and interesting boys; there's a pizza place by Lovers Lane and Greenville that's got a huge screen forever turned to The Game, whatever it is.

I split my attention between the TV and the Morning News, nose-deep in a ham and pineapple pizza. Nice game, good distraction from my woes.

Then I saw Amazing Happen.



That's the first time I got my socks knocked off. This wasn't a clip-fest or a retrospective with some guy lecturing me about why this was so bloody exciting. This was how the hell did they do that?!? This was holy shit wow! This was turning to the guy at the other table and saying, "Did you see that?" This was irrational giggling fits on the bus all the way home. This was staying up to see the clip on the late night news.

That's it. Michigan has my soul, but bury my heart at the American Airlines Center. MFFL
-BJ

And It Was Good

Basketball:
A competitive team sport in which points are scored by moving a ball by hand through one of two rings suspended ten feet off the ground, located at opposite ends of a 94’ x 50’ court. Can be played by as few as two or as many as ten players. Ostensibly a non-contact sport, with most contact not involving the ball considered foul. Game is divided into four quarters (10 minutes in international play, 12 in NBA play), with five minutes of overtime in the event of a tied score. Team with the most points wins.

Beginnings:
In 1891, a professor named Dr. James Naismith, at the YMCA Training School in Springfield , Massachusetts , had a problem. At the time, the school trained physical education teachers from all over North America . The coursework included sports and physical activity the whole year through. Fine for fair months; the students played ball sports, like the new games football and baseball. The problem facing Dr. Naismith was what to do in wintertime. The students kept in shape with running and gymnastics, but they got bored. They wanted a team sport. They wanted competition.

Trouble was, outdoor ball sports weren't safe or practical for indoor play. Dr. Naismith worked the problem over – he needed a no- to low-contact competitive team sport that could be played indoors. His elegent solution was to develop a game with a goal over players’ heads and in which the ball is put in play with hands only. For goals, Dr. Naismith used peach bushel baskets. For a ball he used a soccer ball. He nailed the baskets to the balcony railings at either end of a gymnasium -- railings that just happened to be ten feet off the floor.

The Original 13 Rules:
1. The ball may be thrown in any direction with one or both hands.
2. The ball may be batted in any direction with one or both hands (never with the fist).
3. A player cannot run with the ball. The player must throw it from the spot on which he catches it, allowance to be made for a man who catches the ball when running if he tries to stop.
4. The ball must be held in the hands; the arms or body must not be used for holding it.
5. No shouldering, holding, pushing, tripping, or striking in any way the person of an opponent shall be allowed; the first infringement of this rule by any player shall count as a foul, the second shall disqualify him until the next goal is made, or, if there was evident intent to injure the person, for the whole of the game, no substitute shall be allowed.
6. A foul is striking at the ball with the fist, violation of Rules 3, 4, and such as described in Rule 5.
7. If either side makes three consecutive fouls, it shall count as a goal for the opponents. (Consecutive means without the opponents in the meantime making a foul.
8. A goal shall be made when the ball is thrown or batted from the ground into the basket and stays there, providing those defending the goal do not touch or disturb the goal. If the ball rests on the edges, and the opponent moves the basket, it shall count as a goal.
9. When the ball goes out of bounds, it shall be thrown into the field and played by the person first touching it. He has a right to hold it unmolested for five seconds. In case of a dispute, the umpire shall throw it straight into the field. The thrower-in is allowed five seconds. If he holds it longer, it shall go to the opponent. If any side persists in delaying the game, the umpire shall call a foul on that side.
10. The umpire shall be judge of the men and shall note the fouls and notify the referee when thee consecutive fouls have been made. He shall have power to disqualify men according to Rule 5.
11. The referee shall be judge of the ball and shall decide when the ball is in play, in bounds, to which side it belongs, and shall keep the time. He shall decide when a goal has been made, and keep account of the goals, with any other duties that are usually performed by a referee.
12. The time shall be two fifteen-minute halves, with five minutes rest between halves.
13. The side making the most goals in that time shall be declared the winner. In case of a draw, the game may, by agreement of the captains, be continued until another goal is made

Some of the rules have been revised -- penalties for fouls have changed considerably and play was broken up into four quarters -- and new rules were added as the game defined itself. Originally passing was the only way to advance the ball; dribbling was introduced as ball design improved. The addition of the 24-second shot clock sped up play. Scoring was refined into the 3-2-1 form used today.

Fast-forward a century or so, and basketball's one of the most popular team sports in the world. Equipment-light, doesn't need much space, can be played by both men and women without changing the rules or playing field, physically demanding but the risk of permanent injury is relatively low, mentally engaging, and endlessly adaptable.

With Dr. Naismith's students soon teaching all over the country, the new sport spread fast. Someone suggested calling the new sport Naismithball, but Dr. Naismith decided to keep it simple -- basketball.
-BJ