Tuesday, May 20, 2008

My Humble Opinion, May 20

Spurs advance, squashing the Hornets in Game 7. Check it out:


Whoop-dee-shit. Honestly, it was a matter of soul-searching to decide who I wanted to lose more. Goes double for the conference final.

If anybody's gotta win it all, I'm going to let my homerism show and say Go Pistons. Detroit needs all the feel-good and hard cash it can get.

In a perfect world I'd introduce myself to Lauren and Mandy over at Girls Gone Sports and together we'd hatch a cloak-and-dagger plot to get the Finals cancelled. Burn the flag, steal the rings, scratch Property of Dallas all over the trophy, whatever it takes. We can't have it; neither can you. So there.

But then we'd start fighting over who gets to break into Dirk's house and steal his razor (Dear God, please make him keep the beard!), who gets to plant the vicious attack hamsters in Kobe Bryant's luggage, who gets to monitor the Shower Cam . . . nah, it wouldn't be a good scene. You know?

(the author would like to point out to the hopelessly literal legal eagles who might come across this blog that she is speaking facetiously and would never in ten trillion years do anything illegal or in poor taste to anybody for any reason, and would like to further point out that she is a grown woman in a free society and may say whatever the hell she damn well pleases)

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