Game 1, Dallas Mavericks host Washington Wizards

Theme: Combichrist, "Shut Up and Swallow"
Game Info: Vomit.

Murphy's Law, Squared (or The Unwritten Law of Supreme Inconvience) -- to wit, if it can go wrong, it will make a specific point of going wrong, simply to ruin your day.

The day, it is ruined.

I can sum this game up in three words; total defensive collapse. The Wizards did whatever they wanted to, whenever they wanted to do it. Three point shooting? They did that. Midrange? That too. Points in the paint? Stop before I spew. Interior defense -- Coach was a little like Canute ordering the tide to stop. Dampier was ineffective, Gooden was worse, Kris Humphries had a crack at it, the Three Jacks lineup had a try . . . bupkis.

On the offensive end, other than Dirk -- not rain nor sleet nor snow, he's like the postal service that way -- nobody was worth smeg for points. JJ had a couple of thrilling moments, Marion was decent. That's it.

This was disheartening on several levels. Flashbacks to last year's slow start, a disturbing resemblence to some low moments, realization that by the third the team had fallen back on Mavs Plan A (grab Dirk's jersey and hope he sprouts wings), dismay that maybe the upgrades we made weren't nearly as performance-enhancing as we'd hoped (yes there's a dick joke in there and yes it's delibrate). What I took away from this is simple; defense was a specific point of emphasis for everything the Organization's done since losing the Nuggets series. And this game was about as poor a defensive display as I've ever seen out of them.

Lakers on Thursday, and quite frankly, I'm terrified.

Final: 102-91, Wizards
-BJ