Wednesday, June 18, 2008

2008 NBA Champions, the Boston Celtics


Amazing happened.

Both coasts are waking up with headaches this morning, for very different reasons. 131-92. That wasn't a game; it was a gang-rape.

God it was fun!

- Paul Pierce is The Truth, and anyone who denies it should have their head examined.

- Leave Kobe out of it for a minute -- we'll get to him shortly. The Lakers should be absolutely disgusted by their defense last night. I saw at least two clear opportunities for defensive heroics and the Lakers totally whiffed them both. I'll leave it to wiser eyes to determine exactly when in the game the Lakers struck their colors. That last quarter looked like a bad dream.

- If Dirk is soft, what does that make Pau Gasol? Dairy Queen kiddie cone? A doggie bag from El Bulli? Those supercomfy mattresses NASA uses on the space shuttles? I'm going with the El Bulli thing, myself -- Chef Adri's known as the Foam Guy in certain circles.

- Inconsistancy, thy name is Odom.

- Rajon Rondo. A thing of beauty is a joy forever. He nicked better than a midway pickpocket. I'm thinking about buying the game video from just to watch those steals.

- Ray Allen's shot wasn't dead, it was just resting.

- Dallas isn't going to live down either the Finals Disaster or the Golden State series until we're hoisting our own banner next year. But as Pride Salve goes, this isn't bad. Western Conference Champions, helmed by the MVP and the best player on the planet -- as the announcers reminded us every ten minutes -- and they got their butts kicked so hard they're going to be walking funny until Christmas 2013.

- Now we get to Kobe. I want you to bear in mind the public flogging Dirk's manfully endured the last couple years. #24's stats for last night's game; 7-22 shooting, 3 rebounds, 1 assist, 4 turnovers. When does the crucifixion commence?

- ESPNs obsession with sound bites is beginning to annoy me. Little reporter trying to get quotes out of Kevin Garnett by asking him cliche questions when he's the most blissed-out basket case in the solar system. The happy tears moment was beautiful on its own. Let the man be.

- The Lakers will be back. And so will the Celtics. And so will the Spurs/Hornets/Pistons/Jazz/Nuggets et al.

And so will the Mavericks.

- MasterCard Moment.
Cooler with Tap: $70
Eight gallons Gatorade: $15
Summerweight Suit: $5000

Winning It All: Motherfucking Priceless

Mastercard Moment

No, funny would be if Coach Rivers sends The Truth his dry-cleaning bill.

Congratulations, Boston Celtics! Somebody FedEx everyone in Boston Irish breakfasts and a shitload of aspirin. Those have got to be the happiest hangovers on earth.

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