Game 22, Dallas Mavericks host Oklahoma City Thunder

Theme: Shiny Toy Guns, "Le Disko"
Game Info: Hello little boys little toys

Argh! The sad sacks of the NBA; why were they allowed to lead for three fucking quarters?!? Why were they not beaten to within an inch of their lives? Guys . . .

- We won all right. Took some moderate to serious heroics from certain parties to do it though.

- The Viva Barea! period's lost a little of the shine. Only six points, but five assists. DLord, aka The Good King of Numbers, runs down some stats and concludes that JJ isn't nearly the defensive liability one would think. To be honest, the math behind Efficiency Ratings is over my head. I'm going to have to reread The Arbitrarian's columns over at HP, this time with a couple of Algebra and Statistics texts close to hand.

- Dampier had four free throws in the first quarter and bricked all four. It's getting so I'm covering my eyes whenever Damp or Diop go to the line. Please don't make me hate you, guys. I don't like hating you.

- For Four-String, I sing from Sgt. Pepper -- It's getting better all the time . . .

- Seats for Soldiers was cool. The courtside lower bowl seats were all full of vets, either wounded in combat or currently on active duty. The really nifty thing? The Organization extended the invitation to some servicepeople from Oklahoma City, so the Thunder got to play for their guys too.

- Kevin Durant has either climbed over the rookie wall or he got cut a break from the Basketball Gods at the expense of my Mavs (again).

- The Thunder aren't on pace for Worst Record Ever, Durant and Jeff Green look like they're comers, and to be completely fair it's not like the expectations are high for them this year. I think they'll finish the year . . . well under .500 but with a base to build upon. I feel most sorry for Seattle basketball fans. It's not their fault their franchise got shipped out of town via Pony Express.

- We got outrebounded again. Considering the schedule and considering the lack of consistent hustle (God I hate that word!) I'm worried.

- We need J-Ho back. Sooner, not later. I don't know if he was present last night. Given his tasteless remarks regarding the anthem over the summer, his absence wouldn't've been a shock. I hope he was present though, hat off, head down, mouth shut, ready to take whatever disrespect the soldiers had to give.

- Our Jet decided to turn it loose. 28 points, six assists. Hold onto me, pretty baby, if you wanna fly . . .

In The Wash: Oh yeah, Dirk. Well he got a hero's exit from the game in the fourth, with 39 points to tie his season high so far. Given how everyone else looked, I didn't think he'd be out long. Sure enough the Thunder, to their credit, refused to die. So back he came about twenty seconds later. Poor guy, operating under the delusion that he'd only have to play thirty minutes per. The Mavericks, where Hop On Dirk And Hang On happens.

He took thirty shots, and I am perfectly okay with that. His line from the game looks a little something like this:

46 points. 17-30 shooting, including 2-4 three-point shots. 10-10 free-throws. 8 rebounds. 4 assists. 2 blocked shots.

You spell that M-V-P, guys.

Final: 103-99, Mavericks
-BJ

Game 18, Dallas Mavericks host Phoenix Suns

Theme: George Thoroughgoode and the Destroyers, "Who Do Ya Love?"
Game Info: Stick this in your Guitar Hero and smoke it

Dear Suns:

Please consider this loss by 15, instead of by 30, is a gift from your gracious hosts, the Dallas Mavericks. Merry Christmas!

- Starting at shooting guard, Number 11, Jose Juan "JJ" Barea-- huh? Hey it worked. I'm not sure if that's indicative of JJ's value as a starter as much as it is the Suns' total inability to play anything resembling defense. Whatever, JJ is on fire and Coach is smart to ride him. Stop sniggering.

- I don't know if anyone's still crying conflict of interest when Dirk and Steve Nash are playing against each other (they were like brothers when Nash was in Dallas, Dirk's godfather to Nash's kids). If there's anybody that lazy, please show them this game.

- I'd be more impressed with Stoudemire if he could make his points without fouling.

- Shaq who?

- Dampier -- just call him the Human Pushbroom. Fourteen rebounds.

- Shawne Williams isn't any such of a much offensively in the games he's played, but on defense, oy vey such a deal. Between the two of them, Damp and Shawne kept the boards sparkling. 26 rebounds between the two of them.

- Our Jet continues to make his case for Sixth Man of the Year. Buzzer-beater at the end of the first quarter, so beautiful as to stop breath.

- To be completely fair, the Suns were trying to rally after getting shredded in New Orleans, and Steve Nash (I actually heard he wasn't going to play) is recovering from a nasty case of "flu-like symptoms." Flu-like symptoms is NBAish for "an illness, possibly self-inflicted, that keeps a player out of a game." The news is saying he dropped seven pounds over the course of it, so I'll buy the flu part. And he was still good for 20 points and 10 assists. Hardcore hero shit.

- Still no J-Ho. I'm starting to be worried.

- Oh yeah, Dirk. 39 points. 17-25 shooting. He got a hero's exit from the game in the fourth. I will be there when he cracks open another fifty point game, this I swear.

In The Wash: Suddenly, things look different out West. Other than the Lakers, there aren't any real standouts. The Hornets have had some problems (and this was supposed to be their breakout year, remember), Denver has really benefitted from trading Iverson for Billups, Tracy McGrady is out for the next three weeks minimum, Portland is looking better than they have any right to, and of the two teams that made elder statesmen Hall Of Fame trades last year -- Dallas and Phoenix . . .

Well let me put it this way. Jason Kidd is quietly putting together a fine season, whereas Shaq is bringing shame upon his house by making the size of his mouth more noteworthy than the size of his game.

If you were watching TNT, I'm the nut with the flag, black lipstick, and the S in MAVS painted wrong way round (sue me, I was looking in a mirror). Suffice it to say, the RPL section is not where to sit if you want to watch a game objectively . . . that's why being a homer rules. I'll detail that experience later.

Final: 112-97, Mavericks!
-BJ

Game 12, Dallas Mavericks visit Houston Rockets

Theme: Mindless Self Indulgence, "Revenge"
Game Info: Gothalicious with cheese

Luis Scola looks like he wears a wig. Totally irrelevent. But he does.

For last night's outing T-Mac was on the floor, but Ming The Merciless his ownself was out -- apparently the foot he broke last year started acting up. For our part, J-Ho rolled an ankle at the Bobcats game and it wasn't solid enough to play on. He's going to see the doctor today.

For now, our boys are home. And boy, isn't it a relief to come down off that ledge.

- The Jet's flying high! Second quarter, he was on fire, hit his first seven shots. For the game he was 13-21, including a couple of threes. Fucking sweet, dude!

- Shawne Williams wasn't any such of a much scoring wise. What he did do, as Coach Ortegel pointed out, was shut down T-Mac. McGrady came in in the fourth quarter, trying to bring some hardcore hero shit. And thanks to our newest FNG, he got nowhere.

- I wouldn't say Crazy Pills was successfully contained, but his effectiveness was more limited than perhaps the Rockets might've liked.

- The third quarter was like a bad dream. The Rockets didn't get shit done, but neither did the Mavs. I'm not sure where the offensive breakdown occured, on either side.

- It looked like the Rockets were going to rally, with three back-to-back-to-back threes. Give our guys credit, they had no intention of packing it in. Willams missed a three, Bass got the rebound and laid it in. Sweet.

- This is one I think I'm going to have framed; Dirk getting set for a shot, Scola knocked it away, Dirk stepped back to get it back. From that point he shot and hit. From behind the three-point line. So, Sr. Scola, not only did you fail to prevent Nowitzki from scoring, if you hadn't contested that shot it would've only been two points. Myah-nah!

- Memo to Bad Guys. Hacking Dirk's a decent strategy, when the refs have decided not to pay attention. When the refs start noticing, you should back off. Dirk's too good from the line.

- Memo to Dirk. When the guy trying to fuck your shit up's more than four inches shorter the fade-away works. Know it, own it, use it.

- JJ's getting aggressive, which I like. The blown layups? Not so much. He's doing what he's supposed to be doing, at least for now.

- Near the end. Dirk's got the rock, doesn't have a shot, jumps, instead of shooting whips it over to Jet, who catches and cans a three. Fucking beautiful.

In The Wash: Um, what was that about being an old team? Seriously, it's good that Coach's mission statement is about bringing up the younger guys. Dirk and Kidd are still playing 35 minutes plus per game, and that's about five minutes too many. The averages are coming down though, and should continue to do so throughout the season. The Mavs have said they don't need another backup point; I say bullhonkey, JJ's decent but not that good. Please God say they're not serious when they say they like Stephen Mayberry, pleasepleaseplease.

I'll take what I can get as far as wins. Fish pointed out there's a nice long homestand coming up the first part of December, which should help the standings somewhat. The lads have today free -- think they've earned a day off, Coach? -- and Friday the Grizzlies are in town. Oh joy, I'm going to have to listen to my mother make cute Jeremiah Johnson cracks all night. Robert Redford movie. Video proof that it is possible for Redford to turn in a bad performance.

Final: 96-86, Mavericks!
-BJ

Game 10, Dallas Mavericks visit New York Knickerbockers

Theme: Micro Chip League, "New York New York"
Game Info: Be a part of it

Ahem. Anyone else want to talk about how Dirk can't carry a team?

- Mavs down by fifteen in the first? Here we go again.

- I didn't listen to the whole game -- honestly, I don't think my heart could've taken it. I did hear the end of the half and The Sharpshot That Wasn't. God damn you, refs.

- Bass's minutes have been shrinking lately and his stats've suffered as a result. This game wasn't a monster explosion, but he was Taking Care of Business.

- Same cannot be said for our Young Mister Green. He started as shooting guard and came dangerously close to trillion-land. His only stat was an assist in six and a half minutes. So no, he's not starting material yet. I stand by my recommendation as sixth or seventh man.

- JJ. Please keep giving me reasons to like you. A couple of threes is a start. Not letting the offense totally break down when Kidd subs out is mandatory. Giving Coach pep talks? That's just gravy. :-)

- Who the hell is James Singleton? I don't know yet, but I like his double-double. Hey man! M'name's BJ. Pleased ta meetcha!

- Louis Gossett Jr. as Sgt. Foley = Pure Genius.

-Back for the fourth. And halfway through the quarter, when the score stood at 112-105 Knicks, I could feel my heart starting to crack along the fault-lines . . . again.

- And then . . . the Basketball Gods doth smile upon us. From that point on, the Knicks didn't hit a thing. Not. A. Thing. Jet Terry tied it at 112 all. Knicks tried to answer and got nowhere. Overtime.

- And in OT, it's pretty much the D.W. Nowitzki Show. Seven more points, including a gorgeous monster 3. And it's not at all creepy I know Dirk's middle name.

In The Wash: Oh thank God! It's not fun standing on the NBA ledge, watching your team orbit the Black Hole Of Suck and knowing there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. We're not the disaster our record indicates. Let's be fair; the schedule's had two back-to-backs and included six playoff contenders. We're better than 3-7, and with any luck this win is the start of a long stretch of playing like it.

Interestingly, Coach ditched the "traditional center" school of thought for this one. Erick only played four minutes and 'Gana didn't play at all. For this game it worked. The Mavs went down hard in the first and spent the rest of the game clawing back.

As an aside, Stack was in civvies as a DNP-Coach's Decision. That has the journalistic gonads of the DFW sports media twitching. I think Stack and the Mavs are headed for a divorce and it's pretty much up to Stack whether or not it's on harmonious terms.

Tomorrow the guys go up against the Bobcats, who haven't been sucking as much as they should be so far (see the lack of stat curse, Basketball Gods? See? See?), and then they hop over to Houston for another crack at The Invincible Sky-Armada Of Ming The Merciless. Not that I'm bitter or anything, but here's hoping Yao and Company take the ass-kicking of their lives. Fuck you for ruining my opening day. Fuck you to death.

Final: 124-114, Mavericks!
-BJ

Mavs Fan For Life

Februrary 29.

Bad night that night, homesick and lonesome. Rather than spend an evening pouting with my cat, I decided to visit with my new and interesting boys; there's a pizza place by Lovers Lane and Greenville that's got a huge screen forever turned to The Game, whatever it is.

I split my attention between the TV and the Morning News, nose-deep in a ham and pineapple pizza. Nice game, good distraction from my woes.

Then I saw Amazing Happen.



That's the first time I got my socks knocked off. This wasn't a clip-fest or a retrospective with some guy lecturing me about why this was so bloody exciting. This was how the hell did they do that?!? This was holy shit wow! This was turning to the guy at the other table and saying, "Did you see that?" This was irrational giggling fits on the bus all the way home. This was staying up to see the clip on the late night news.

That's it. Michigan has my soul, but bury my heart at the American Airlines Center. MFFL
-BJ