Game 36, Dallas Mavericks visit Phoenix Suns

Theme: Stromkern, "Melt"
Game Info: Just another fantasy, let it slip away

Stabbing my eyes out.

Swallowing a grenade.

Driving home to throw myself off the Mackinac Bridge.

I think I'm going to get busy forgetting this game ever happened. Grieve for the death of an illusion.

As constructed, based on the performace so far this season, this group of men is not capable of postseason success, much less a title.

Instead . . . moops.

Final: 128-100, Suns
-BJ

Game 21, Dallas Mavericks host Charlotte Bobcats

Theme: The Aristocats OST, "Everybody Wants To Be A Cat"
Game Info: 'Cause everybody wants to be a cat

Maybe it's because of the slugfest with San Antone or the guys are getting too settled into a routine with being home for a long stretch . . . but is it possible to get pissed off when you win? Because I'm . . . well I wouldn't say pissed off, but I'm not happy.

- The Bobc--ts aren't quite the sad sacks of the NBA, but this is the same team upon whom the Mavs opened a keg of whupazz about a month ago. On top of that, they were shorthanded. A major trade with the Phoenix Suns was announced yesterday and the players traded were not available (the trades weren't final).

- Dirk did a lot of the heavy lifting again, on admittedly subpar 9-21 shooting. I think that's double double 10 so far this season; 23 points, 13 rebounds, 5 assists.

- JJ got another start, but that concept is bumping up against its limitations. He was only 3-7 from the floor. Not exactly an offensive ball of fire. Now I'm not hating on the guy. He's earned his stripes. But he needs to come off the bench, either as a Kidd Alternate or swingman spark plug. And he's the first one to say so.

- Outrebounded? By Charlotte? Guys!

- Leave aside Coach's ranting about how the 'Cats are the hardest working team in the league. A cynic -- and I am one -- might think the Mavs were trying to coast through the game. Bad idea.

- Kidd's shooting percentages have fallen off a bit. Not good.

- All credit to Emeka Okafor for putting the screws on Dirk. Die in your sleep you bastard.

- Come back, J-Ho! Come back!

- Still not moved to hysterics over Devean George. Still not entirely sure why he's getting the start. I'll have to dig into the boxscores, but I think Shawne Williams has made better use of his minutes. Or we could've switched Dirk over to the three and started Bass (who had a fairly decent game). Come on, we've stretched so far as to have three points on the floor at once; is Dirk as a small forward really so great a leap?

- Desagana Diop. Time for Coach to use some coachly magic.

- Gerald Green, working on his fourth or fifth DNP-CD. See above and square it.

- The Mavs Dancers are fucking beautiful. Just FYI.

In The Wash: Dirk's said it a couple of times already; we're not good enough to coast. With anyone. No mercy fucks, gentlemen. I know The Win is all that matters . . . but why are these teams -- Clips, Hawks, Bobcats etc, being allowed to leave the Metroplex with their dignity intact? Quoth My Lord, "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women." Take the opportunity; break them over your knees.

On the other hand, this is December. Time for fine-tuning, procedural evolution, et cetera et cetera et cetera. The goals here are two; rack up wins and don't get injured.

And as to the absurd idea that the team's playing better without Josh Howard? Look, you don't not miss twenty points and eight rebounds per. If one takes the lineups over the last few games as indicators, the best we've got for backup at small forward is . . . Devean George. Oh dear.

Well the Thunder is in town on Saturday, who actually are the sad sacks of the league right now. It's also Seats for Soldiers night, when floor seat season ticket holders donate their seats to wounded veterans. Should be a nifty night. I'll be there with the Stars'n'Stripes on my cheek. After, the Nuggets visit for the last game of this at-home stretch. They've been playing very decently since they traded Iverson for Billups. As of this morning they're second in the conference. Should be fun.

Final: 95-90, Mavericks
-BJ

Game 18, Dallas Mavericks host Phoenix Suns

Theme: George Thoroughgoode and the Destroyers, "Who Do Ya Love?"
Game Info: Stick this in your Guitar Hero and smoke it

Dear Suns:

Please consider this loss by 15, instead of by 30, is a gift from your gracious hosts, the Dallas Mavericks. Merry Christmas!

- Starting at shooting guard, Number 11, Jose Juan "JJ" Barea-- huh? Hey it worked. I'm not sure if that's indicative of JJ's value as a starter as much as it is the Suns' total inability to play anything resembling defense. Whatever, JJ is on fire and Coach is smart to ride him. Stop sniggering.

- I don't know if anyone's still crying conflict of interest when Dirk and Steve Nash are playing against each other (they were like brothers when Nash was in Dallas, Dirk's godfather to Nash's kids). If there's anybody that lazy, please show them this game.

- I'd be more impressed with Stoudemire if he could make his points without fouling.

- Shaq who?

- Dampier -- just call him the Human Pushbroom. Fourteen rebounds.

- Shawne Williams isn't any such of a much offensively in the games he's played, but on defense, oy vey such a deal. Between the two of them, Damp and Shawne kept the boards sparkling. 26 rebounds between the two of them.

- Our Jet continues to make his case for Sixth Man of the Year. Buzzer-beater at the end of the first quarter, so beautiful as to stop breath.

- To be completely fair, the Suns were trying to rally after getting shredded in New Orleans, and Steve Nash (I actually heard he wasn't going to play) is recovering from a nasty case of "flu-like symptoms." Flu-like symptoms is NBAish for "an illness, possibly self-inflicted, that keeps a player out of a game." The news is saying he dropped seven pounds over the course of it, so I'll buy the flu part. And he was still good for 20 points and 10 assists. Hardcore hero shit.

- Still no J-Ho. I'm starting to be worried.

- Oh yeah, Dirk. 39 points. 17-25 shooting. He got a hero's exit from the game in the fourth. I will be there when he cracks open another fifty point game, this I swear.

In The Wash: Suddenly, things look different out West. Other than the Lakers, there aren't any real standouts. The Hornets have had some problems (and this was supposed to be their breakout year, remember), Denver has really benefitted from trading Iverson for Billups, Tracy McGrady is out for the next three weeks minimum, Portland is looking better than they have any right to, and of the two teams that made elder statesmen Hall Of Fame trades last year -- Dallas and Phoenix . . .

Well let me put it this way. Jason Kidd is quietly putting together a fine season, whereas Shaq is bringing shame upon his house by making the size of his mouth more noteworthy than the size of his game.

If you were watching TNT, I'm the nut with the flag, black lipstick, and the S in MAVS painted wrong way round (sue me, I was looking in a mirror). Suffice it to say, the RPL section is not where to sit if you want to watch a game objectively . . . that's why being a homer rules. I'll detail that experience later.

Final: 112-97, Mavericks!
-BJ

Game 17, Dallas Mavericks host Los Angeles Clippers

Theme: Covenant, "We Want Revolution"
Game Info: Constant evolution

At the time, I was bloody ecstatic. Came yea close to blowing my voice out whilst riding the escalator. Upon reflection though, I'm worried.

- If one looks at the first forty minutes of playing time, the Clips should've won this game. The Mavs weren't getting shit done defensively, weren't attacking the basket, and the jump shots weren't falling.

- Dirk scored 29 points . . . on 10-27 (!) shooting.

- Okay, anybody else want to ask how bad we need Josh Howard? He was in civvies last night. According to the Morning News, his ankle swelled up on him on Tuesday morning and the team's opting to give it time. I'm crossing my fingers for Thursday.

- Maybe it's because I don't know what to look for, but I still fail to see why Devean George is getting the playing time that he's getting.

- I spent most of the second half in a state of nervous collapse. The Clips were outshooting us and beating us on rebounds. I hate booing, but gentlemen, you had it coming. Guys!

- I haven't seen the Golden State series (don't want to, can't make me!), but just by what I was seeing Baron Davis's reputation as a chronic pain in the Mavs' collective ass is deserved. Fucker.

- According to the Morning News, as a Plan Z the Mavs went to zone in the fourth quarter. They also played probably the smallest lineup possible -- Kidd at the point, JJ, Jet, Dirk, and Bass. Hey, it worked. The Clips went dry for the last three minutes.

- And then, thank you God, the threes started landing. Jet started with the bacon-salvation with four minutes left. 26 points on 9-17 shooting, plus three boards and three assists.

- The rest of the bench not too shabby, neither. Bass had a great night, and JJ . . . I hereby repent every time the words "pet rock" crossed my mind over the preseason. Read on.

- So we're down by one, having clawed our way back after three quarters of truly disgusting basketball. Down by fifteen, to the fucking Clippers! Clips take a timeout and the folks break out the flags. We in the audience who had stuck it out (and let me admit this, I was tempted to leave) were getting ready to go nuts.

- It's down to the final minute. Eric Gordon missed a jumper, Kidd came away with the rebound. And he passed it to . . . JJ. Our JJ. My heart shivered as JJ caught, set, and shot. OhmyGodnowayhe'sgonnamakeit-- BINGO!!! Up by two!

- Clips take a shortie, Kidd steals the ball, gets it to Dirk who misses the three. My heart stopped as Al Thornton got the rebound and the Clips moved it up the floor. Terry fouled and the Clips took it out of bounds with six seconds left. Three point shot would've won the game. Baron Davis jacked it . . . and it bounced off the rim. They tried for the second-chance field goal. No good. Dirk grabbed the ball and the clock turned red. Game over! Cue manlovish pig-pile and fans yelling all the way home.

In The Wash: I'm terribly worried by a lot of what I saw. The Mavs are, like it or not, a team the lives or dies by the jump shot. Jump shots are defensible, shut-downable. The Clips collapsed in the fourth quarter, and we were able to take advantage of that.

Of course that's the sober reflection. The shameless homer says, it's like the Mavs woke up in the fourth quarter said, "Hey, this is a sub-.200 team," and proceeded to swat them like flies. The Mavs can now call themselves a winning team with a straight face -- and hey, check it out, we're eighth in the conference right now. The fanbase has a reason to shout "How 'bout those Mavs!" Mainline the hope everybody. We're gonna need it.

Other lessons? We are clutch, we can play small when we need to, you won't like Dirk when he's angry, our bench is a lot deeper than the early season has indicated, Gerald Green is unfortunately not ready to be a major part of the game plan at this stage, but JJ Barea is.

Well that's in the books. Time to gear up for a more honest test of where we are as a team; the Suns are in town tomorrow. I will be representing B3 in the Rowdy Proud and Loud zone, with a pair of goggles in my hair and a flag around my shoulders.

Final: 100-98, Mavericks!
-BJ