@#*^&$*!!!!!!!!!

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Who Invited Marilyn Manson?

If you own a copy of Golden Age of Grotesque, take a second and cue up Para-Noir.

So if you follow the Mavs or read the local papers, you've heard there was a fracus at Casa Nowitzki that ended with an arrest. The accused is a lady name of Cristal Taylor, Dirk's girlfriend and intended.

The Morning News, which loves sports scandal more than just about anything, is on it. Drooling.

My sympathies lie with Dirk-- hold it a second, it's not because of that. My housemate and best friend happened across a con artist and professional bastard some years back. By the time the dust settled, I no longer had a best friend (last I knew she'd moved back with her kin in Chicago). Long story, buy me many drinks and I'll detail. Benefit of the doubt tends to go to the folks who've had the bad luck to draw jokers when they Go Fish for mates. Show me proof of bastard behavior on his part and believe me, I'll be first in line at the stoning party. No such proof has been offered and I doubt like hell any exists.

I think the final wash rinses out something like this. The best case scenario is Ms. Taylor is a woman with a checkered past whose major sins when it comes to Dirk are lies of omission. Those are fatally easy when you care about someone and know that saying something's going to hurt them. The worst-case scenario, and of course it's the one the news is shining up and holding out for everyone to look at, is Dirk's former POSSLQ is a con artist whose mark got wise before rings changed hands.

For the sake of his peace of mind, I hope it's best case. And for everyone's sake, please dear Jesus she's not pregnant by him. That elevates a particularly gross relationship crash to the kind of stuff that ruins lives.
-BJ

NBA Playoffs, Round One: #3 San Antonio Spurs versus #6 Dallas Mavericks#

Soundtrack: Led Zeppelin, "Rock'n'Roll"

The enemy has been met and destroyed.

We did it!
-BJ

First Round Thoughts

First of all, whoever in Detroit signed off on the Billups-Iverson trade should present themselves to the true-blue Pistons fans and humbly beg to commit seppuku.

The fans should refuse and drown them in Lake St. Clair.

Secondly, I really thought the Jazz were the best canadites in the Conference to make the Lakers have to work for their first round. Sadly, that did not happen. The league is dry-chafing its collective erection, trying not to make a mess before the NBA Finals Starring LeBron James and Kobe Bryant gets rolling.

Thirdly, I'm not at all happy that the Hornets got dismembered by the Nuggets. Not really. Those Nuggets are probably going to be facing my Mavs in the conference semis. I disagree with M. Moore's assertion that Chris Paul's going to get cut slack for this, though. This was supposed to be the year the Hornets swept out the Old Order of Suns, Mavs, and Spurs, leading the Western Conference to a happy place. Instead, led by CP3, they faceplanted. Fail.

I feel sorry for New Orleans, though, for the same reason my heart cries for Detroit. The mental and fiscal health of a major metro area is tied to sport. The respective failures of the Pistons and the Hornets drains hope and hard coin from cities that badly need both.

And finally, a little closer to home . . .

I'm not going to jinx it. I'm not. Suffice it to say, playoff time at the AAC is crazy. And no wonder Tim Duncan overacts fouls; when he's not overacting, he looks insane.
-BJ

Just In Time For The Playoffs . . . Kinda

Ahh . . . home internets!

No, I did not bail through the second half of the season then come back on board when the Mavs started to be worth a damn. And I got the ticket stubs to prove it, bitches.

So we're leading the series 3-1. I'm calling this as a Mavs in six -- I do not think the Spurs will allow themselves to be humiliated on their own floor -- with the confidence of having history on my side. However, the Mavs have been on the wrong side of the numbers before. Examples to cite are numerous and painful.

In one way, we're lucking out. Dirk's scoring is being effectively neutralized by San Antonio's defense and Jason Terry's (Sixth Man of the Motherfucking Year!!! congratulations Mr. Terry!) slumping . . . and we're winning anyway. Because other than the awesomeness that is Tony Parker and the Big Fundamental, the Spurs don't have much.

That's not going to be true going forward. I take nothing away from Josh Howard's might and majesty when I say he's not going to be enough as the Mavs try to make a serious push.
-BJ