Murphy's Laws, As Applied To Basketball

Because I'm bored and because I'm fighting nasty feelings of impending doom:

Murphy's Laws, As Applied To Basketball
- There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
- The shortest distance between two points is double-teamed.
- Easy baskets aren't.
- 'Circus pass' is another word for 'instant turnover.'
- The stars incline; they do not determine. See 2008 Finals.
- Anything you do can get you whistled, including nothing.
- When all else fails -- hack, flop, or throw up a three.
- The refs only pay attention when you screw up.
- A good analyst can prove anything. And a busy forum will overreact to it.
- If you have a personality conflict with any of the following -- Coach, GM, owner, team captain -- they have the personality, you have the conflict.
- Anything over seven-three or on a downward arc has the right of way.
- A groin pull is Nature's way of mocking you for not warming up properly.
- There is no such thing as a perfect game plan, offensive system, or defensive scheme.
- When in doubt, take it to the hole.
- If you can keep your wits about you while all around you are losing theirs you're not on ESPN.
- If it's stupid but it works, it's not stupid.
- Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
- If a trap is properly set your guy will not walk into it.
- If your team is playing really well it will crash and burn in the last two minutes.
- Ref didn't see it, you didn't do it.
- The crucial pass will be intercepted, the clutch three will not drop, and the tiebreaking free-throw will be the only one you miss.
- Every play call that can be misunderstood will be.
- Success occurs when no one's watching; failure occurs on the ABC network.
- There is no limit to how bad things can get.
- You're not worth watching until you get roasted on Basketbawful.

Anything I missed? Any spin left unspun? Let me know!
-BJ